You're every second - Collect of season 7 Bamon one shots
by damnbamon
Summary: A collection of season 7 Bamon one shots that will add to with each episode of the season. Some will be sure fluff, some will be angst, and others will be smut.
1. Firsts

_First one shot in a future collection of season 7 bamon one shots._

 **7x01** _  
_

Beginning at the end of the "three second" speech, but before they go bad ass on that heretic.

* * *

 **First's**

"Just checking." Bonnie mumbled, looking a ways a little bit as the room grew silent.

"I have to do something about the heretics." She sighed, and Damon nodded a little.

"We, have to do something about the heretics." Damon corrected her, his eyes still showing some signs of frustration.

Bonnie had come back to her dorm to rest, she needed some rest before planning an attack on the heretics. After a a few weeks of baby sitting Damon, she felt kind of drained.

"So, let's go." Damon continued, starting to walk about of the room, but Bonnie stayed still.

Damon turned around, putting his hands to the side a little.

"What are you still standing there for?"

"I came here to rest, there are people who run on more than bourbon, Damon." Bonnie told him, with a slight roll of her eyes.

It was oddly normal for her, Damon being there. As he'd said, he had no where else to go. This however wasn't remotely true. There were thousands of other places he could go, yet there he was.

When Damon thought he had no where else to go, he went to Bonnie. Ironically, in this situation, she was his second choice.

First he went home and when that didn't work out because of the heretics, he went straight to Bonnie's dorm.

Damon was beginning to realize that Bonnie was his place to go.

"Alright..." he said slowly.

Although he wanted to go fight the heretics right then and there, he knew that Bonnie needed to relax a little. There was no doubt he'd been driving her crazy.

"I can leave then, I'll find somewhere else." Damon told her, and Bonnie almost smiled a little.

He was literally admitting that she hadn't been his last resort, that he could've found somewhere else.

Bonnie cleared her throat, "No, it's fine."

Damon stepped forward again and closed the door of the dorm room behind him.

"I'll be quiet then." he told her, moving to sit back down on the bed.

Bonnie nodded, moved to sit cross legged on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"I can't believe they got the entire town to clear out." she said quietly, looking at her lap.

Damon pursed his lips, "They probably compelled most of them."

Bonnie raised her eyebrow, "That had to have taken a while.

"Yeah, if ever a time when Silas would be helpful." he replied and this made Bonnie smile a little.

"We thought he was bad, the heretics are worse." Bonnie said with a chuckle.

Damon nodded, "Not as bad as Klaus."

Bonnie tilted her head in thought for a second.

"More powerful, perhaps. But, more easily killed, and definitely not as skilled."

"The heretics are just cocky." Damon rolled his eyes.

"So, you're saying they basically cleared out the town because of some Katherine wanna bee's?" Bonnie asked, running a hand through her hair.

Damon looked over at her, "Katherine was smarter than them... Maybe, Rebekah wanna bee's."

Bonnie's eyes lit up, "Oh! Oh! I got it... Travelers mixed with Silas wanna bee's."

Damon smirked, "Exactly. They aren't they bad, nothing we haven't technically dealt with already."

"Really, all it would take it sneaking up behind one and ripping their heart out. We could actually end this problem in at least 10 minutes." Bonnie said pushing her lips out a little.

"See, this is why we came back. They couldn't kill a bug the right way." Damon smirked a little and this made Bonnie smile as well.

There was a small silence again, and Bonnie pulled her phone from her pocket, deciding to watch something. Opening her Netflix app, she scrolled through her list of shows and movies until she found a show she had been meaning to watch way back when, it already had 2 new seasons since she added it to the list.

Pressing play on the first episode, Damon turned his head again when he heard the show playing. Bonnie just held her phone, watching the beginning of the show end, and title sequence start.

10 minutes into the show, Damon was turned around more and she paused to look at him.

"Hmm?" Bonnie asked as he seemed interested.

Damon moved up a little and turned so he could see her screen.

"What are you watching?" he asked her, and she tilted the screen upwards more so he could see it without the reflection of the lamps.

"Scandal." Bonnie looking over at him.

"Do you want to watch?" She asked.

Damon pursed his lips, "Uh, sure."

Bonnie scooted over on the bed, making room for him there and he slowly moved to sit on the bed, with his legs spread out, also leaning against the headboard.

She scooted a little closer, so she could bend one of her knee's up towards her chest, and hold her phone there with her hand so they could both see.

Damon eyed the screen once she pressed play.

"What's it about?" he asked after a few second and Bonnie chuckled.

"Watch! And you'll know, here, I'll restart it." she said sliding the red dot back to 00:00

"Okay, okay." Damon said slowly, tilted his head as the show started.

4 episodes later, and the lights were off, Bonnie leaned up against his shoulder and arm a little. Damon was holding the phone now as she had the duvet pulled up to her chest.

"Wait, is she really going to do that?" Damon whispered, staring at the screen.

"How am I supposed to know?" Bonnie asked, giving him the side eye for a second.

"She can't do that..." Damon mumbled, switching the hand that he was holding the phone in.

Bonnie chuckled and started at the screen.

"UAHH!" Bonnie gasped, "She's doing it!"

"I told you she was doing to!" Damon said with the same look on his face.

"What do you mean you told me? You didn't even know!" she smacked him in the arm.

"OH MY GOD!" Bonnie started bouncing a little excitedly.

Damon looked at the screen with wide eyes.

"This is intense."

Bonnie laughed, and Damon looked over at her while she was fixated on the screen.

Suddenly his chest felt a little strange.

He'd never sat and watched anything with someone. Not even Elena. It was a first for him... As a matter of fact, he wasn't exactly a tv show watching kind of person. When did he even have time for that anyway?

It seemed he now did have time, in this mist of everything, the heretics, the 'loss' of Elena, that somehow, there he was... Watching Scandal with Bonnie on Netflix of all things.

Bonnie looked over at Damon after the scene, and noticed the look on his face. She blinked, pausing the show.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked confused, and he moved his eyes from her.

"Nothing, just the show." Damon lied and she raised an eyebrow.

"No, seriously." Bonnie said taking the phone from his hand and setting it on the bed, the light from it shining upwards.

Damon ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, I've... just never sat and watched a show or anything with anyone before."

Bonnie eyed his face, "Wait, are you actually getting emotional about that?"

Damon's eyes went a little wide and he cleared his throat, "Uh, no. I was just making an observation."

Bonnie frowned a little, "I understand though, I haven't watched anything with someone else for years, not since I was a preteen maybe."

Damon nodded, not sure what to say.

"Let's finish this episode." Bonnie said slowly, grabbing the phone and sitting back to where she was, letting Damon push play.

20 minutes later, and the episode was over.

Bonnie plugged her phone into the charger, turning it off. The only light in the room was the moonlight outside, but neither of them turned the lights on.

"You really never watched any shows or movies with Elena?" she asked, looking at him through the dim room.

"No." Damon replied, and suddenly realized how weird this was.

Were couples supposed to do things like that together? What else had he not experienced before?

"I never watched anything with Jeremy either..." Bonnie said slowly, having the same revelation as Damon.

Damon looked over at her.

"Do you think we've both missed out on a lot?" he asked, and she blinked.

"Umm. I guess so." Bonnie replied, the wheels in her head turning.

"I've never been to a carnival with a girlfriend." Damon said rather randomly and this made Bonnie chuckle.

"Well, that's specific." she replied.

There was a moment of silence before she spoke again.

"I've never been on a legitimate date."

Damon sighed, "I've never met either my girlfriends parents."

Bonnie nodded, "My only boyfriend never even met my dad and he was alive."

"I've never made dinner for a girlfriend." he said looking away and across the room.

Several minutes later and Bonnie was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"I've never just stayed in bed all day with a boyfriend." Bonnie sighed.

Damon looked down at her a little, "I've never carved pumpkins with a girlfriend."

This one made Bonnie start to laugh and Damon looked down at her, furrowing his brow.

"What?"

Bonnie chuckled once more before taking a breathe.

"Your never's are so... simple. Both of ours are. They're things we should have done, things we should have already experienced." Bonnie replied with a slight shake of her head.

Damon licked his bottom lip slightly.

"I thought you we're going to say, stupid."

Bonnie blinked and smiled a little, "No, of course not. They're not stupid."

She sighed and turned to lay on her side, head on the pillow.

"Honestly, it seems like I'll never have time to experience anything simple. There's always some new threat."

Damon furrowed his brow and slowly moved to lay down on his side, facing her.

"You just watched 5 episodes of Scandal, while the heretics are probably drinking an enough blood bags to float Noah's arch, and town square looks like zombieland."

Bonnie chuckled, "We, just watched 5 episodes of Scandal." she corrected him.

Damon smirked a little, eying her face.

"My point is... The towns screwed up right now, yet, we both found time to experience something simple." he said slowly.

Bonnie smiled, nodding just a little and looked down at the bed.

They stayed like this for several minutes, or maybe it was longer, neither of them were sure. However at one point, Bonnie blinked and saw that Damon was just looking at her, his eyes sad.

"Hey..." she said slowly, and he moved his eyes up a little to make eye contact with her.

Bonnie wasn't sure what she was thinking, but Hell if she was going to let her worries stop her.

Grabbing his shoulder a little, she leaned upwards to wrap her arms around him in a hug.

They were just lying there, hugging, half way sitting up.

After a second, Bonnie let go and moved to lay on her bad and look at the ceiling. However, Damon scooted over, turned and laid down halfway on top of her. His lower half and legs still mostly on the bed, while his torso was against half of her body.

Bonnie's eyes were a little wide with surprise.

"Damon?" she asked, but he didn't reply.

Instead, he laid his head on her shoulder, lying his arm out across her chest and his hand laid by the top of her head on the pillow, keeping her shoulder down... His other arm upwards above both their heads.

Bonnie was still confused, but after a second she took a breathe and tilted her hand to hold onto the bicep of his one arm that was across her shoulder/chest and placed her other hand against the back of his head and neck, her fingers though his ear.

It was about 5 minutes later when both of their eyes were closed, and finally Bonnie spoke.

"I've never done this before."

Damon's face nuzzled against the side of her face and nook of her shoulder.

"I've never needed this before." he whispered.

It was so quiet after that, and neither of them were sure who fell asleep first.

All they knew was, in the span of one night, they each experienced not one, but 3 firsts.

It was now easy to see, that it wouldn't be the last time.


	2. Like a Flame

_**7x02**_

Beginning while Damon is at the Lockwood mansion, drinking and staring into the fire after news from Lily that he needs to leave town. But before Stefan arrives.

* * *

 **Like a Flame**

The silence that had been encompassing Damon quickly disappeared as his phone rang. Echoing throughout the mansion, it was the loudest thing besides his thoughts.

He contemplated not answering, even once he saw Bonnie's caller ID, but slid the answer over after four more rings.

"Hey." Damon answered, tilting the glass of bourbon up to his lips another tip.

"Hey, is everything okay? You said you'd call me later but..." Bonnie started, and he was just silent.

"Damon?" She asked, and he sighed.

"No, everything's not okay. If anything it's all gone to hell. But what else did we expect?" Damon said slowly, staring into the flickering flames of the fire place.

"Slow down... What happened?" Bonnie inquired.

"Lily has cloaked Elena's coffin, as punishment for me apparently." Damon replied, and there was a pause in the conversation.

"W.. What?"

"You heard me correctly..." Damon sighed and then noticed a slight wind on her end of the phone, but didn't bother asking where she was headed.

"What does she want? I'm assuming you made a deal to keep Elena safe." Bonnie said right away, reading his mind.

"Well, I did, and this.. this'll be the keeper... She wants me to leave Mystic Falls." Damon responded, turning around and leaning against the wall beside the fire place.

"Leave permanently?" Bonnie asked, although she already knew the answer, especially when Damon didn't answer her.

"I'm coming over." she said after a second.

Damon shook his head to himself, "No, you don't need to do that." he started.

"I'll be leaving soon anyway."

There was a long pause and Damon heard nothing from the other end until finally there was several buzzes as she hung up.

"Bonnie?" Damon asked moving the phone from his ear and looking at his home screen.

Suddenly he heard the sound of the front door opening and clattering as it closed.

He tilted his head to the side and took several steps forward.

Bonnie's combat boots thudded against the floor softly until she was briskly walking into the room Damon was in.

"Too bad, already here." she said her eyes unhappy.

"And did you really think I was going to let you just leave without seeing you first?" Bonnie asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Damon blinked, "I guess I wasn't thinking."

"No, I guess you weren't." she mumbled, walking closer to him and looking at the empty bottle sitting on the shelf above the fireplace, and the glass in Damon's hand.

"What were you going to do? Leave without your car? Because hell if you're going to drunk drive out of Mystic Falls." Bonnie said grabbing the glass from Damon's hand quickly.

"Who cares?" Damon said his eyes wide, angry.

"Who fucking cares anymore? All of this, has completely spiraled, and it's only been a month." he said motioning around with his arm.

"So who cares!" Damon raised his voice more and swung the other arm up.

Suddenly Bonnie lifted her arm and threw the glass to the floor, it crashed downwards and broke into pieces, the contents splattering.

"I care! Stefan cares! People care Damon! If no one cared, we would all be dead. If you continue acting like you don't care, you'll be dead." she said angrily at him, taking another step forward.

"You're hurt! Be hurt!"

Damon growled a little, "Of course I'm hurt. I just don't cry all over the town, whining about what has to be done."

Bonnie huffed, "Maybe that's your problem. You think that what you're doing is... being responsible, what's best. Perhaps it is. But, you've failed to realize..."

She took a deep breathing, calming herself down and swallowing.

"You're allowed to hurt. You're allowed to cry, those are normal coping mechanisms. What you're not allowed to do is go on this war path to self deconstruction that you dead set on! Do you really want to be this person around -." Bonnie was going on and on, with her heart pounding in her chest until Damon interrupted her.

"Around Elena? When Elena comes back in 60 years, do I really want to be this person?" Damon asked, assuming this is what she was going to say.

Bonnie shook her head, running a hand through her hair.

"No, Damon. Around me, around Stefan, around Caroline?" she said stepping closer to him.

"We're the people that are here right now. I'm here, right now. Not 60 years from now, and you know what you'll get when you 'get Elena back'? You'll lose me. So do you really want to spend the time I'm here, spiraling down into a super-massive black hole of bullshit? Because that's how you've been acting." she said inches from his face.

Damon's brows furrowed and he took a breath.

"Tell me how you really feel why don't you..." he mumbled and Bonnie backed away a bit.

"I'm always going to be straight with you. I expect the same from you. I won't let you go on your own." Bonnie cleared her throat.

"What do you mean?" Damon asked, looking down at the broken glass on the floor.

"I'm coming with you. You're leaving Mystic Falls, I'm leaving with you." she replied simply.

Damon scanned her with his bright blue eyes for a second.

"You sure?"

"I don't say things I don't mean." Bonnie said raising her eyebrows.

It was silent for a few moments as Damon thoughts.

This was the first time he felt like someone was doing something for him, rather than in spite of him. Perhaps that was his fault, but...

Bonnie always got through to him, like no one else.

Bonnie was startled when Damon suddenly crossed the space between them and embraced her in a hug, this from the second his arms were wrapped around her, she knew that this wasn't to comfort her. Instead... it was for him.

"B..." Damon startled but she hushed him, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

Her eyes felt a little wet as Damon started to shake a little in her arms and suddenly, his knee's buckled and they were on the floor.

"Bonnie." Damon mumbled into her shoulder.

"Shh." Bonnie said, her breath hitching.

The man in her arms fell apart all in two seconds and she was floating away in his tears. Bonnie's own heart started to throb inside her chest and tears dripped from her emerald eyes.

Damon started to shake harder in her arms, his sobs verbal and she felt salty water soaking into her shirt, pooling on her skin.

"Why does everything have to be so fucked up?" Damon whispered shakily.

Bonnie held back a small sob before she answered, "I've been asking myself that for years."

Damon choked a little on his own rapid breath and his head moved upwards and he saw that she was crying as well.

"Oh no..."

Bonnie looked back at his tear covered face as he looked pained at her damp face.

"I'm sorry." Damon said, his eyes so hurt, his bottom lip quivered a little.

Bonnie shook her head, "No, I'm.. I'm fine."

"No..." Damon said quickly, pulling her closer to him, and letting her bury her face in his shoulder.

The second Bonnie closed her eyes, she was sobbing.

They weren't sure how long they were there, crying, but at some point that's all they were doing. Almost in rhythm with each other, they sobbed at the same times, breathed at the same times, heart beating against each other's at the same time.

Finally at some point, Bonnie's face hurt, her heart was in her forehead and she started to laugh.

"What?" Damon replied, half laughing, half crying.

"We're a mess!" Bonnie laughed into his shoulder and they both lifted their heads to look at each other and laugh again.

"Oh God." Damon took a deep breath and sniffled.

Bonnie chuckled again and did the same, wiping at one side of her face.

Damon reached a hand up and wiped at the other side of her face, and her lips turned upwards a tad.

"You look horrible." Bonnie told him and he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, thanks."

Bonnie giggled, "My nose hurts."

"Here." Damon leaned over without thinking and pecked the tip of her nose lightly before leaning back.

Bonnie's face was red, from crying or from the kiss, well, only Bonnie knew the answer to that.

"You know..." she started still sitting in Damon's lap on the floor, arms wrapped around each other.

"I've never seen you cry before."

"I've never cried like that." Damon replied, and this made Bonnie's heart sink a little, so she decided to change the subject.

Bonnie turned her head to look at the fire.

"The flames of strong a fire may still dwindle but can easily be built back up." she said quietly.

"Where'd you read that? Back of a book?" Damon chuckled.

"No, just thought of it." Bonnie replied.

"Well, nice job Shakespeare." he teased and then blinked.

"What about if the fire goes out?"

Bonnie tilted her head to the side before replying, "You relight the fire."

"What if there's no matches, or lighter?" Damon asked with a chuckle.

"Hmm." she pondered.

"The right person can light the fire by hand."

Damon blinked, just looking at her, something changing in his mind.

This was the first time he'd cry with someone else, in each other's arms, real crying.

And this was the first time when he felt that there was a hope for him to live without Elena.

"So you're coming with me?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes, unless you don't want me to." Bonnie replied, looking at him.

Damon said something he meant more than anything he'd ever said before.

"I want you to come with me."

"Really?" Bonnie asked with a chuckle.

"From now on, I don't say anything to you that I don't mean." he replied, giving her his answer.

It was in that moment that they realized there were so many things they've yet to say to each other.

Without even them even noticing they had built their own fire... With more words, more time, more firsts and their flames wouldn't stand a chance at dying out.

* * *

 _Please don't hesitate to **leave a review**! They make my day!_


	3. I Can't Lose You

**_7x03_** __

 _Starting after Bonnie agrees to help Alaric._

* * *

 **I Can't Lose You**

Bonnie rested her face in her hands as she sat on her bed back at the dorm room. God, everything was starting to spiral downwards. How exactly was she supposed to help Ric? Why had she even agreed to that?

Shaking her head, she ran a hand through her hair and looked over at the clock that said 11:06PM. She should definitely be asleep, but what even was sleep anymore?

As she got up to turn the light off beside her bed, there were several soft knocks at her door. She sighed and walked slowly over, still in her clothing from that day and opened the door.

"What?" Bonnie asked, knowing it was Damon, who else would it be?

Damon looked at her, his eyes a little sad and she furrowed her brow.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, stepping back so he could walk in and shut the door behind him.

"You agreed to help Ric?"

Bonnie nodded, "Yeah."

Damon pursed his lips and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Why exactly?"

She took a breath, but wasn't sure what to say...

"I guess, because he's our friend."

This was a shitty answer, Damon knew it, she knew it.

"I highly doubt that that's your reason." he replied, his blue eyes looking right through her.

"We'll, you'd be wrong." Bonnie said turning around to walk away from him, but suddenly he grabbed her arm.

"What are you-" she gasped a little and he turned her around to face him so quickly.

"Bonnie, I heard what he said to you." Damon said furrowing his brow.

Bonnie swallowed, "Oh, okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"I mean, he said what he said, you heard it, I heard it. It's fine." she said her chest hurting.

Damon shook his head, "No, it isn't okay. Someone who thinks your pain, and suffering doesn't mean anything, isn't a friend."

"Okay, so he's not my friend then." Bonnie said simply.

Damon was getting angrier and she didn't understand why, but she stepped back when he let go of her arm.

"You don't understand..." he took a deep breath, knowing he needed to calm down.

Damon stepped closer to Bonnie, looking down at her.

"You're important, more important than you know. Way more fucking important than someone who's already dead. And if Ric doesn't think so, he's not my friend either. Especially not after what he said to you."

Bonnie blinked, surprised, and her heart fluttered in her chest a little.

"You lied to me too though, you knew and you didn't make me aware."

"I know, that was wrong. I made a mistake." Damon said placing his hand on her face and she didn't understand what was going on, but she didn't want him to move, ever.

They were silent for just a few minutes as they grew closer.

"I forgive you." Bonnie said honestly, she couldn't stay upset with him, not when he knew what he did wrong.

"What is it about you, that rips my sanity from me and gives it back all in the same second, Bonnie?" Damon whispered, and Bonnie lifted her hand up to cover his that was on her face.

"I couldn't tell you, but whatever it is, you have it." she said softly, everything around her becoming a blur that didn't matter.

"You're not helping Ric." Damon said to her, his eyes scanning her beautiful face.

"Is that an order?" Bonnie asked him.

Damon lifted his other hand onto her face "No, if anything it's a plea."

He pulled her even closed to him, their faces inches apart.

"I can't lose you."

Bonnie exhaled, her breath against his skin.

"Not you." he continued and all in one moment, he closed his eyes, pressing his lips to hers gently.

For the first second, she didn't move, but as her lips melted into his her arms moved upwards to wrap around his neck.

Bonnie kissed him back just as softly as he was kissing her, and it wasn't like any kiss she'd ever gotten before. The thought of whether it was right, or wrong didn't matter.

Their hearts were entwining at every seam.

Damon pulled away slowly, even though she clung to him.

"Every time I look at you, all I see is not Elena." he started, repeating his rant from the other day, but it was much softer this time.

"All I see is everything I need, everything I want, everything that makes me feel like I'm finally myself." Damon continued.

"All I see is, Bonnie Bennett."

"Damon..." Bonnie whispered, running her hand along his chest. She was at a loss for words, once again.

Damon looked over at the pajamas she had on her bed.

"Let me help you get ready for bed?" he asked her, his eyes glimmering.

She nodded, and her hand ached as he pulled away and she was no longer touching him.

But, quickly this feeling was replaced by a tingle all along her skin, as Damon got to his knee's on the floor, placing his hands along the waist of her shorts.

After unbuttoning them, he slowly pulled them down from her body, letting his finger tips run along her thighs, never breaking eye contact with her.

Bonnie inhaled, her face flushing with heat, and she slowly stepped out of the shorts once they were at her ankles. Damon slowly stood back up, running his fingers along her legs, thighs, as he stood.

Next he slid his hands underneath her shirt and pulled it over her head tossing it on the floor, his eyes moving to her breasts, covered by a black bra.

Bonnie wasn't sure what to say, her breathing was growing heavier and the place between her legs was warmer.

Damon grabbed the soft pajama pants from the bed, getting her feet into them, before starting to pull them up, but this time he let his lips press against her legs.

Bonnie's lips bubble with a small uncontainable moan as his lips were suddenly on her thighs.

He lingered there for several seconds before pulling the pajama pants up completely, his face resting on her hip.

Standing up, when she looked in his eyes, she could tell he was going a little crazy, and as he started to pull her shirt on, she grabbed his arm.

"You're all I want, too." she finally said what shed been dying to say, and his lips turned up a little as he looked deep into her eyes.

Damon's hands moved to finish pulling her shirt on her body, his palms pressed against her waist, he pulled her closer to him, so close their bodies were pressed right against each others.

Bonnie didn't hesitate to stand taller on her toes and press her lips to his, unable to stop herself. Damon brushed her hair behind her ear as they kissed, but much to her dismay, pulled away.

"Goodnight, Bon." he whispered, his thumb caressing her face.

"Goodnight." Bonnie said so quietly, she almost didn't hear it herself.

Suddenly, she was alone in her room, the door open and swinging a little on it's hinges...


	4. Love, Damon

_**7x04**_

Beginning during/after the Dear Elena letter.

* * *

 **Love, Damon.**

 ** __**

 ** _Dear Elena,_**

 _Yes, you read that correctly. Everything has changed and I'm writing it all down._

 _Everyone has been trying to tell me I need to let you go. That, I am afraid to let you go, and I don't know who I am without you. However, they are only half correct. For the longest time, I've been trying to convince myself that I don't know who I am without you. When really, I've just been fighting the reality that I have been, who I am without you before. Perhaps not completely, no never completely; as even during those months, days, hours, minutes, seconds, I did the very thing I have been doing ever since we laid you in that coffin... I've been denying. I have been trying to convince myself that if I just have you next to me, if I just know where you are, that you're safe, somehow it will change things. But it hasn't, I've made careless choices, using you as an excuse, using my pain as an excuse. Those aren't excuses..._

 _So, who is Damon Salvatore, without Elena Gilbert? In the past, he would've been a selfish friend, a jealous brother, a terrible son... But, now I think that I've changed. More than you were ever able to see. So, just know, that you will always be in my memories, and in my heart. But, my heart is no longer with you. In order to live my life the way I believe you'd want me too, I must move on, let go of you. With a little luck, one day when you wake and you come to know whatever the future may hold, you'll understand._

 _It's time I am honest about where my heart really is; who it is with._

* * *

Damon stared at the journal in his lap as he clicked the pen slowly. One page in, and it didn't feel as wrong as he thought it would. He'd never written in a journal before, always thought it was pointless. But, he wanted Elena to know as much as possible, so when she woke up she would understand.

And, if she didn't understand, there wasn't much he could do about that.

He was finally admitting to himself what he'd been trying to bury for God knows how long. It was exhausting yet he also felt as though a weight had been lifted off his chest.

His eyes flickered up to the sky above him, as he sat in the middle of the forest. The night was dark, but the stars were brighter than they'd ever been before. Or maybe he was just now realizing their essence.

Closing the journal in his lap he took a deep breath.

Funny, how the heretics were getting what they wanted, Alaric was getting what he wanted, and he should be worried but all he felt right then was... hope.

A text came in on his phone and he pulled it from his pocket.

 **Bonnie:** Where are you?

 **Damon:** In the middle of the woods outside I79.

 **Bonnie:** What? Why?

 **Damon:** Meet me and I'll tell you.

Damon shoved his phone back in his pocket after sending her directions and stood up from the ground, walking slowly over to a large rock several feet from him and setting a bottle of wine and journal on the top of it.

He quickly flashed to the side of the road, leaning against a tree as he waited for her to get there.

Perhaps he could have gone to her, but this wasn't a conversation he wanted Ric their third wheel to be any part of. As a matter of fact, he didn't want anyone else to be a part of the conversation.

15 minutes later and Bonnie pulled over alone the side of the road, several feet ahead of him. She got out, wearing black jean shorts and a long sleeve blue v-neck shirt.

"Alright, I'm here." Bonnie said a little confused, but she figured perhaps Damon was just really hammered.

"Follow me?" Damon asked her, and she looked back at her car.

"Your car will be fine for a little while." he assured her and held a hand out to her, which she took and they started through the forest.

Tree branches brushed against Bonnie's legs as they walked, and she was getting annoyed.

"How much further?" she asked and Damon looked back at her.

"A little ways." he replied, realizing that it was much longer of a walk for her than for him.

Bonnie furrowed her brow but kept on walking with him, holding his hand and wondering what was going on.

"Did you get Elena's coffin?" she asked after a few more minutes as the tree's started to clear a little.

"Yes. It's safe." Damon said quietly.

"Did you bring Jo back?" he asked.

Bonnie inhaled, "Yes..."

"Are you worried?" Damon looked over at her.

"I guess we'll just have to see what happens." she responded, but he could tell she was more worried than she was letting on.

"You didn't have to bring her back, you know." Damon's forehead creased.

"I know." Bonnie nodded as they finally reached the clearing where Damon had been when she texted him.

"Yet, you did." He said as they stopped and she let go of his hand slowly.

Bonnie swallowed and looked around them. It was dark, she could hardly see Damon through the darkness, as the clouds moved over the moon.

"I do stupid things for people I care about." she replied with a sigh.

Damon looked at her face, his bright blue eyes one of the only things she could see besides the outline of his body.

"I have that problem as well." he started.

"But, I'm done doing stupid things."

Bonnie looked at him curiously, and then nodded slowly.

"You know, that sounds like a good idea."

Bonnie knew she shouldn't have brought Jo back just because Alaric wanted her back. Sure she cared for Ric, like family, he'd been around for the last years. But, she wasn't so sure he even cared about her that much.

Maybe she was just used to doing whatever people wanted her to...

"I'm just used to doing whatever people want." she spoke that thought aloud and Damon frowned a little.

"You shouldn't be... I feel as though that's my fault." Damon admitted.

"Why would it be your fault?" Bonnie asked, turning to face him.

"I was one of the first people to force you to do what they wanted." he said slowly.

Bonnie realized this was true, but she didn't think of him like that. She hadn't for a long time.

"Damon..." she started quietly stepping over to him, "That's not who you are anymore, and that's not who I see you ass."

Damon's lips turned up a little, and he turned around to walk several feet away, sitting on a large rock.

"Come here." he told her, and she moved slowly over, the wind blowing against her skin, goose bumps forming there.

"Are you cold?" Damon asked, noticing her slight shiver.

"A little. I didn't know we were going camping." she teased and he looked at her face, something different encompassing his eyes, she noticed.

Damon pulled off his leather jacket, draping it over her shoulders and she slid her arms inside the sleeves.

"Thank you." Bonnie said, her face a little warmer than the rest of her.

"So, if you got Elena back... Why are you with her? I was expecting you to be sleeping at her coffin." she said genuinly curious about why they were there.

Damon didn't answer this question, not really. Instead he picked up the bottle of wine from in between them.

"You see this?" he asked her and Bonnie smirked a little.

"Yeah, you're wasted." she accused.

"No..." Damon rolled his eyes, "This isn't even open."

He gave her the bottle, and she held it, testing the lid and seeing he was telling the truth.

"Oh." Bonnie mumbled and looked back at him, the clouds moving past the moon and illuminating her face.

"I've had this bottle of wine since 1950. When I first decided to bring Katherine back. I've saved it for 65 years." Damon explained.

"I'd go to my wine cellar and just stare at it. Imaging it fermenting, aging. Waiting for the day when Katherine would be there and we would drink it together. "

Bonnie's emerald eyes grew a little sadder as she listened.

"On the day, I discovered she had betrayed me, I hid it. Decided it could never taste as good as I dreamed. I had waited, and waited on finally being able to drink it. Dreamt about, how one day I would find someone else. But, I still never drank it." Damon inhaled, and looked at the bottle in her hands.

"Let me guess, you're going to drink it tonight? As a tribute to Elena?" Bonnie asked, tilting her head to the side.

Damon licked his bottom lip, "No." he stated and gently took the bottle from.

"No, I'm going to end something."

He stood up, took several steps away from where they were sitting, lifted the bottle into the air and threw it.

The bottle went crashing into some tree's several yards away, the liquid spilling out.

Bonnie stood up with wide eyes.

"What exactly was that ending?" she asked confused.

Damon turned around, his eyes distant, but they quickly moved to her face.

"A chapter in my life."

Bonnie just looked at him for a few seconds, finally understanding why he'd brought her out there.

The look in his eyes, the calmness of his face, the gentleness of his words.

This wasn't about Elena, no... this _finally_ wasn't about Elena.

"You've ended a chapter, but, are you starting a new one or ending the book?" Bonnie asked him as he stepped closer to her.

Damon stopped several inches from her, lifting his hand to her face.

"Starting a new one."

Bonnie's breath against his wrist made his skin freeze and bubble at the edges, both at the same time. The warmth of her face melted into his hand like a dying fire. But, this was no dying fire.

"How does it start?" Bonnie asked, her heart beating faster in her chest, and she wished he would just move an inch closer, half an inch closer even, and she would meet him in the middle.

She had been aware of her feelings for so long, that she'd grown numb to them. Afraid that putting them on the table would make her something of a bad friend, a bad person. But, she was realizing now, that Damon wasn't the only person who needed to start a new chapter.

"It starts..." Damon whispered, and suddenly they were so close that if they moved any closer, there would be nothing in between them.

"...like this." he finished and his lips pressed against hers.

Bonnie's eye lids fluttered closed, and Damon wrapped both of his arms around her body, having to lean down a little in order to kiss her.

His fingers ran along her back softy, and Bonnie wondered how she'd managed to go so long without kissing Damon.

As Damon kissed her, in the middle of the silence, the dark, the breeze lightly blowing against them, he couldn't remember what not kissing Bonnie felt like.

"Bonnie..." he whispered, breaking the kiss looking deep into her beautiful face.

"I love you."

Bonnie's lips turned up at the edges and she moved her hand up to caress the side of his face.

"I love you, too."

Damon's eyes were like pools of the ocean that morphed with Bonnie's waves of emerald and created a whirlpool of hope between the two of them.

For the first time in forever, they could both actually breathe.

Bonnie leaned up on her tip toes to press her lips back against his and she wasn't filled with an intense kind of emotions, she wasn't thinking about the previous chapter, nor the next; instead she was completely focused on this new one.

The one that for once, she was a main character of. It was time both of them to make their own story. One word, one page and one fleeting moment at a time.

Bonnie broke the kiss to press her forehead to kiss, and he picked her up off her feet to hold her.

"Our chapter." Damon whispered holding onto her tightly, eyes closed.

Bonnie opened her eyes to gaze at his face, her heart beaming in her chest.

"Our chapter."

* * *

 _So, who am I without you? Well, as it turns out.. I'm Damon Salvatore, with Bonnie Bennett._

 _ **Love, Damon**_


	5. 6 Year Flash Forward

_**Stelena & Bamon 6 year Flash Forward.**_

 _This is an imagining of a 6 year flash forward. It's short and ends on a cliffhanger like the flash forward in the show. However, if you'd like me to write more to it, and make it a whole scene, let me know. I'll write it and upload it.  
_

* * *

 _ **December 20th 2018**_

"Ahhh! No!" Elena laughed as she tried to shove Stefan away from her.

The pot on the stove was overflowing and one of the pans had caught fire all in the 5 minutes they were playing around.

"Oh shit!" Stefan's eyes went wide and he hurried over to turn the burner down and shake the pan with the flames until they relinquished.

"I told you, cooking with alcohol was a terrible idea!" she chuckled and walked over to wrap her arms around his waist as he stirred the contents in the pot.

There were several raps at the front door and Stefan started to shift his feet but Elena stopped him from moving.

"I got it." she smiled, patting his shoulder and then hurrying to the front door.

Opening the front door she took in the sight of the couple before her.

"You're here!" Elena beamed and rushed forward to hug Damon and Bonnie in a tight hug with one arm around each of them.

"Sorry we're late." Bonnie smiled wide, brushing her hair behind her ear with her hand, her ring sparkling.

"We got caught in traffic." Damon explained with a minor sigh, wrapping an arm around Bonnie.

Elena waved her hand, "No, no. You drove 6 hours to get here, no apologizing."

Stefan peaked out from the kitchen and smiled, "Hurry inside, before the snow starts up again."

Bonnie grinned, "Stefan!" she laughed, stepping inside and Damon took a step forward but then stopped and turned around.

"Rose!" Damon called behind him, and several seconds later the 3 year old playing in the snow several feet behind them looked up with innocent eyes.


	6. Ridiculous Idea

_7x06_

 **Ridiculous Idea**

Damon looked across the room of the party, having llost track of Stefan once Julian meandered away.

Bonnie was fixing Enzo's tie in an attempt to make Lily jealous.

His icy blue eyes focused on Bonnie's fingers on the mans tie, slowly upwards and then away after a moment.

He was holding a glass of bourbon in his right hand, music flowing around his head but the only thing Damon could pay attention to were how close his best friend and former best friend were. Their faces were inches from each others, and he felt a twinge in his chest.

After a moment, Enzo excused himself from the party stating that he'd gotten what he came for, then disappeared from the house.

Setting the glass in his hand down, he made his way over to Bonnie, realizing he hadn't even said 'hello' to her yet.

"Fancy seeing you here." Damon said slowly, his lips turning up at the edges.

The woman before him blinked, turning her head to face him with her hair wavy and soft around her face.

"Damon." she said, her own eyes getting a volume or two brighter.

He scanned her outfit, licking his lower lip a bit and then his eyes made his way back to her face.

"Don't you look dressy." Damon stated, invoking a mild snort from her, accompanied by a grin.

"Is that your way of complimenting me?" Bonnie asked him, her emerald eyes scanning him in his suit.

Damon shrugged, "If you'd rather I take it back..."

"No... Thank you, you look.. really great." she smiled, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

He just stood there, being swallowing and holding a hand out to her.

"Dance with me?" he asked, and she blinked, a little surprised.

"Oh, sure." Bonnie replied, and set her hand in his, letting him lead her a few feet away.

The lights were dim, and there weren't too many other couples dancing, but Damon didn't care. He wrapped his arms around her slight waist and pulled her closer. Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck, memories from years before tingling in her brain.

"We haven't danced since the 70's dance." she said quietly, a small smile engraved on her face as she thought about it.

"What a waste." Damon replied, his eyes glued to her even as she looked to the side of her, lost in her memories.

"What's a waste?" Bonnie asked, her eyes moving over to his face as their bodies grew closer.

Damon ran his thumb along her lower back.

"Not dancing with you." he chuckled, and her face flushed a light pink.

"Are you saying you'd thought about dancing with me before?" she inquired, tilting her head to the side.

Damon blinked, "Uh." he cleared his throat.

"So, you're Enzo's new friend, huh?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"We're allies sure, and he wanted to make Lily jealous." Bonnie replied casually, but when Damon looked away a little, she raised her brow.

"Hold on a second, is that why you wanted to dance?"

Damon smirked a little, "What are you implying?"

Bonnie tilted her head again, "That Lily wasn't the only Salvatore getting jealous."

"That's ridiculous." he chuckled, looking into her eyes.

"But is it?" she asked, her smile fading as she looked at him a little more seriously.

Damon licked his lower lip, feeling her fingers curl around the back of his hair.

"The most ridiculous." he said quietly.

Bonnie pursed her lips, "Alright, I agree."

"Really?" he asked, his hand pressing harder against her back.

"It's ridiculous." she said, with a small smile, and their faces grew closer.

"The most ridiculous?" Damon asked, as their foreheads pressed against each other.

"The absolute most ridiculous, ridiculous idea ever." Bonnie grinned.

His bright, sky blue eyes were happy, possibly the happiest she'd seen them in so long. It was a small, speck of a thing, but Bonnie didn't care. They both knew the truth, and they'd know it forever.

"But, I love that ridiculous idea." she said softly, and Damon smiled back at her.

"I love it too."


	7. A few years ago

_7x08  
_

* * *

 ** _"A few years ago."  
_**

"You made your bed... Have a nice nap."

Damon turned to leave the room that his desiccated mother was in, his heart a aching, mass of death in his chest.  
You'd think, that after all these years, he'd have been able to forgive her. However, she was less of an innocent than even Stefan realized.

Perhaps Lily did love her sons, but she had also been the one to give Kai the idea of linking Elena's life to Bonnie's. Nearly causing Bonnie to lose her life.  
Lily hadn't expected Damon to make the choice he did; this blind sided her, and Kai.

Swallowing, he wished he hadn't lost that damn bottle of bourbon; then again, he surely had another lying around somewhere.

"Damon."

Her voice came from out of nowhere as he walked into the duly lit foyer, about to leave the house in its entirety.

"I came as soon as I heard." Bonnie said slowly, walking up from behind him, and pressing her finger tips against his shoulder.

Damon didn't turn to face her, he didn't say a single word.

He didn't want her to see the torment in his eyes, or hear the coldness of his words.

Would she understand, when she discovered how little he cared for his mothers death?

When she saw the hatred in his eyes, for a dead woman, would she take it in stride, or would she judge him?

"Hey..." she said after a second, tugging on his shoulder, forcing him to turn and face her.

Bonnie looked up at the man towering above her, furrowing her brow and trying to read into the blue of his irises.

"What do you want?" Damon asked, his voice thick with frustration.

He removed her hand from his shirt and folded her arms over her chest.

"What do I want?" Bonnie asked.

"How about you tell me, why the hell you thought going about this without me was a good idea?" she asked, her voice strong but hushed. Despite the fact that she knew it wasn't going to make a difference to those with special ears around the house.

"Okay, maybe it was stupid but even..." he started again, but was once again interrupted.

"I know what you're going to say. You think that it's your burden, your fault, your cliche path of pain to walk. You're going to say that, even if I had been able to help, everything would end up exactly the same way; but don't you even go there Damon." She said slowly, her forehead creasing.

"But, even if you had, Bonnie..." Damon inhaled and she quickly hit him in the shoulder.

"I said, don't you dare go there." Bonnie said a little louder.

"I could have helped, but, I didn't get one call, one text, I had to find out about this from Stefan... We're supposed to be a team." she swallowed.

"Or did you forget that?" Bonnie asked, looking to the side a little, sadness encompassing her eyes.

As Damon looked down at the beautiful, green eyes woman before him, his chest lightened a bit, but the anger that was dissipating from his heart, was only replaced by hurt.

"No, I haven't forgotten." Damon replied slowly.

"Really? Look, I know you don't give a damn about your mom. But, Julian is the one who is supposed to be dead, not Lily. And now the only person who gave him a reason to be civil, is rotting on your chaise." Bonnie said in a huff.

"Every single thing, we did together to try and stop the heretics, what you told me about your plan, what I say about helping you; did you forget that?" she asked.

"Did you forget the whole, killing a guy together? Drinking together and smiling at the, new team work we were going to lay on the heretic bastard? Did you forget the whole, 'oh Bonnie you're my best friend and I'm a huge idiot.'"

"Sure as shit feels like you did." Bonnie turned on the heel of her booted foot and started to walk away from him.

Damon grabbed her by the arm and spun her back around slowly.

"I didn't forget..." he said softly, and looked into her face.

"I wrong to just, do ahead without even letting you know."

Bonnie just stood there, folding her arms back over her chest.

"I could've helped, I could have stopped Mary-Louise from screwing it up." she said positive.

"You said that, as though, with your help it would've been completely seamless." Damon said with a sighed.

Bonnie stepped closer to him, looking dead into his face.

"What's wrong with being confident?"

She lifted her hand to the side, and snapped her fingers.

Every single candle in the room, in the chandelier above their head lit up.

"A few years ago, that would've been difficult."

Bonnie took a step back away from him.

With a flick of her wrist, the door opened and she started out it.

Damon followed her, intrigued, as she obviously wanted him to follow her.

Once they were standing center in the front yard, she looked over at him.

"A few years ago..." she started, and then looked upwards towards the sky.

Suddenly the clouds merged together as easily as holding hands with each other, the wisps of their fingers, grew a pale grey.

It started to snow, the wind picking up as Damon looked up at the sky, the flakes falling to his face, melting against his skin.

"That would've been harder."

Bonnie moved over to stand directly in front of him, and lifted her hand.

Suddenly, Damon inhaled sharply as his body was lifted from the ground with ease. Every inch of his tinged as he moved upwards, further and further from the snow dabbed ground.

Bonnie circled him, keeping one hand in the air, watching as the vampire floated about 10 feet above her.

Her other hand was busy keeping it snowing.

"A few years ago, this would've been a dream." she yelled up at him, and sent his body crashing downwards to the ground.

Damon grunted, getting up to his feet and taking in a deep breath of air.

He looked over at Bonnie who was gazing at him with a wildness circling her emerald irises.

"You're right." he breathed outwards, taking the several steps over to her.

"It's not a few years ago, it's now." Damon said bright blue eyes pouring down on her like rain.

"But, I should've done this sooner."

Those were the last words Bonnie heard before her body was pulled towards him by her hips, and his lips came down against hers, softer and warmer than she could have ever imagined.

It didn't matter that she had just sent him flying 15 feet in the air, and possibly lit enough candles to burn down his house.

The snow that was sprinkling down on the them ceased, as Bonnie lost focus of her magic, her lips moving against Damon's; taking up every single second of her concentration.

A small burst of hair escaped her lips, and flowed into his, making him break the kiss for only a second.

"A few years ago, this wouldn't have meant nearly as much as it does now." she whispered, her eyes closed, but she could feel Damon's lips turn up into a smile, just from the heat radiating off of him.

Goosebumps formed on her exposed skin, and she threw her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes so she could be the one to kiss him this time. Her lips were almost too perfect against his. Damon pulled her tighter against him, but kissed her softly, like she was the most important thing in the world to him.

Maybe that's because she was; and she'd always be.


	8. Homeless

Centered around Bonnie struggling with Damon's death, and finding herself seeking Enzo for comfort (he's not having been captured in this) but no matter how much he understands, or cares about her, she feels lost without Damon.

* * *

 _7X09/10ish AU_

 _ **Homeless**_

 _Bonnie stared at the body along the floor. The pitch black of Damon's hair was even darker against the crimson rug. It was as though her entire heart had gone cold, and the warm salty tears against her face were a product of lack of willpower._

 _"Get him up off the floor!" she said quickly inhaling, trying to get her head together._

 _Caroline grabbed Damon up as quickly as possible, speeding over to set him beside Stefan on the dining room table._

 _"I should've been here." she swallowed hard, her hands shaking at her sides._

 _Bonnie stepped over to the table, her eyes scanning over the blood covered Damon, then his brother. She felt completely useless, with her magic having not been regained from Nora's syphoning. But what was she supposed to do anyway?_

 _"We have to do something." Caroline sniffled, her own face covered with tears._

 _"I know." she replied, trying to remaining standing, but it wasn't as hard as she thought._

 _It was far too easy. She was far too composed._

Bonnie's eye lids flickered as she came out of her memories, her eyes shifted over to the table where Damon lay. The room was silent, except the candles burning, licking around the edges of the melting candles. Candles that she had replaced forth over now.

She wanted to speak, but when she opened her mouth, a parasitic thought creeped into her head.

A corpse can't hear you.

Damon was cleaned of blood, dressed in his favorite black long sleeve button up. For whatever reason, Bonnie thought that he should be fashionable even in death.

"I think, this is enough for today." she decided, taking the red stone off the center of his chest where his shirt was unbuttoned

When will it be enough?

Three months, and every day she continued to try and get him back. It wasn't just him, it was Stefan as well. However, this man was the one who caused her the most grief.  
Bonnie stood from her chair beside the table, and slowly began her ritual of blowing each and every candle out one at a time.

Inhale, exhale, out goes the flame.

Inhale, exhale, out goes the flame.

Inhale, exhale, out goes the flame.

Fifteen times over, and she was left in a dim room, with wax along her fingertip and a dizziness in her head from lack of breath.

She turned and looked at Damon again, pulling the rolled up blanket from his feet to his chest.

Bonnie ignored the urge to turn around, light the candles again, and continue trying to spell, until it was far too early to go to bed, too late to stay awake.

As she stepped out of the room, she closed the door behind her and was greeted by the darkness of the foyer.

"Bonnie." The familiar thick accent came from one side of the room and a match was struck, lighting the fireplace with one flick onto the wood.

Enzo and the room was illuminated by the fire, and as he set the matchbook down, Bonnie turned to face him, hands at her side.

"I didn't know you were here." Bonnie said slowly.

"I thought I would check up on you, it has been a few days. You haven't answered my messages." he stood up straight, and took several steps closer to her.

It wasn't a secret, the things that had been going on between them. At least, it wasn't a secret when no one cared.

"I'd been busy, I was meaning too." she assured him, although she wasn't sure if she meant it herself.

"You don't need to distance yourself from me, love." Enzo said reaching forward, pressing his fingers to the side of her face.

Almost as though it was instinct, she reached up to place her hand over his.

Enzo's touch, it was warm, soft, inviting. As were his eyes, they were understanding of her pain, what she was missing, and how hard she was trying to get it back, get him back.

'Why don't we get you a drink." he suggested, and stepped over to the cabinet on the other side of the room.

Bonnie sat down on one of the leather couches, and as Enzo sat beside her now holding two glasses of red wine, she took one.

"They shouldn't leave you here alone." Enzo commented.

She took a much larger drink of wine than she would have in the past, and swallowed before flickering her eyes back over to his face.

"Why? Do I need a babysitter?" she questioned, mildly sarcastically, tad bit serious.

Enzo took a drink of his own wine and get his glass on the coffee table before turning to face her more.

"No. However, I just don't think you should be alone." he told her, and reached over to touch her hand, slide his fingers along her hand gently.

This made her heart ache, but her skin tingle.

Bonnie took another drink, and with each drink, his touch was like butterflies, his voice like honey.

"I'm here for you, Bonnie." Enzo promised, and she looked into his eyes.

They were cavernous, shining into hers with compassion, and his sympathetic aura was like an opiate. She was wandering off, further and further from herself with each moment.

Bonnie set her glass down and moved over to straddle Enzo's lap, and his hands went to her waist immediately. He didn't need a word, or even context, this wasn't a new happening.

Her hands ran along his chest, feeling his fingertips along her skin, underneath the hem of her shirt.

Enzo was simply a familiar stranger, but she couldn't think straight when she was with him, and this was what she wanted. Everything about his touch, burned her from the inside out, dizzied her to the point of heavy breathing.

Bonnie leaned down, kissing him deeply, his lips against hers, as sweet as the wine and nearly as intoxicating. Enzo kissed her back feverishly, before breaking the kiss and pulling her shirt off over her head. She inhaled as he ran his fingers along her cleavage, before leaning down and kissing along her collar bones.

Bonnie pulled his shirt off over his head and quickly, her bra was removed, it was all happening so fast. The air was thick, and held any concern that either of them could have possibly had before.

Leaning down, she kissed along Enzo's shoulder, breathing in the masculine scent of his skin. Yet even as they kissed, ran their hands along each other bodies, moved in time with each other's rhythms, she felt as though she wasn't a part of herself, and her heart raced, but it ached harder.

Later that night, she was lying naked and covered by a sheet in the room Enzo had deemed his.  
He was beside her, sleeping in the dim light of the moon from the window to the right.

Bonnie was not sleep, her eyes flickered along the ceiling and her hands shook. She sat up from the bed, inhaling deeply and raked her fingers through her hair.

Sliding out of the bed, she sighed, knowing most of her clothing was downstairs. Grabbing the blanket that wasn't being used, she wrapped it around her body and opened the bedroom door.

Bonnie walked down the dimly lit hallway, knowing she either had to stay and sleep there, or go to Whitmore. But, she wanted neither of those things.

Just as she was about to go down the stairs, she turned her head and looked at Damon's closed bedroom door. No one had been in there since Bonnie got Damon's shirt to put on him. Bonnie turned and walked towards the door, reaching a hand out and turning the knob, watching the door open.

It was so quiet, and cold in his room. His bed was messy, he had several t-shirt lying around. She had stepped in several feet, hardly noticing. Bonnie closed the door behind her, and looked around, trying to ignore the stinging in her eyes.

She walked over to his large bed, licking at her lips before letting the blanket from Enzo's room drop to the floor. Bonnie crawled into Damon's cool bed and pulled the black blanket over her body , all the way to her neck, and brought her knees upwards a bit, lying on her side. She pressed her face into his pillow, inhaling deeply.

The second she did this, the scent of Damon brought the salty tears from her eyes, down her cheeks.

Everything was so cold, so quiet, so empty.

Bonnie cried, trying to understand this feeling inside her, the way she couldn't breathe, unless she couldn't think. The way she couldn't feel, unless she couldn't breathe. But, dammit, Bonnie didn't want to feel, she didn't want to breathe, she didn't want to think.

Forced to do all three of these things, one way or another, she was losing herself.

Sobbing softly into his pillow, for the first time in a while she was breathing, and thinking, she was feeling, and breathing.

"I love you." Bonnie inhaled, squeezing her eyes closed.

This was the most honest thing she'd said to no one in a while.

Without Damon she was lost.

Despite Enzo's touch, his care, his understanding, it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

"You're my home." she whispered, the dull thud of her heart, filled with pain and joy at her revelation.

Bonnie pulled the blanket closer to her face, and in this moment, decided she would bring Damon back, no matter how much longer it took.

"I'll get you back."


	9. Of Course

_**A/N:** Beginning starts during the blood sharing scene, and the second scene is after the call from Stefan. _

* * *

__

_7x13_

 **Of Course**

When Damon knelt on the floor down to Bonnie without a single hesitation, Bonnie had to admit she was relieved. She had assumed he would go after Rayna in a angry, stupid huff, or continue to try and keep her from getting what she wanted.

But, with a stake in the stomach of his best friend, he had decided to let it go for now and help Bonnie instead. Damon pulled the stake out and tossed it behind him.

He extended his fangs, veins snaking underneath his eyes and he bit into his wrist. Bonnie wasted no time grasping his hand with hers and placing her lips over the wound, letting his blood drip into her mouth.

She didn't need to much of it, but even once she had already taken enough, Damon didn't take his hand away from her. Her lips parted from his risk tenderly, and her hand still held his.

"Hey, you didn't hesitate one second... let alone three." Bonnie commented, looking into Damon's eyes with a amused but thankful look in her own.

When she realized he looked as though he still felt guilty for having hesitated those months before, she gripped his hand a little tighter.

"Thank you." she said softly, wanting him to understand she appreciated the way he was trying to make up for his mistakes.

Damon tapped her fingers, and the side of her cheek with his thumb.

"Of course." he said with a serious look on his face as if to say _'I won't make the same mistake again'_

"We all good? If so, I could use a little help with these ropes." Enzo's voice came from across the room, where he was still tied up to the seat.

Damon rolled his eyes, "Do you here someone talking?" he asked Bonnie as he stood from the floor, and pulled her up as well by her hand he still had.

Bonnie let go of Damon's hand and looked around as though she didn't see anyone.

"I think I hear something... Sounds like a low drone. Sounds like a traitor." she said with distaste.

"Oh, right, yes, yes, a traitor. That explains why I'm vervained to a theater seat." Enzo replied sarcastically, and looked away from them.

Bonnie's phone started ringing and she grabbed it, seeing Nora's call ID on the front.

"Nora?" she asked, putting the phone on speaker.

"Did you let Rayna get the Phoenix Sword?" Nora asked, and Bonnie looked over at Damon for a moment.

"I didn't _let_ her. How do you know?" Bonnie inquired.

"Beau's scar opened up, which means she's coming for him; and she'll never stop coming for him. Once she kills him, she'll go after every other vampire in her path." Nora said rather dramatically, and Damon had to hold back a sarcastic remark about how she was being rather _blood-and-thunder._

Bonnie sighed, "I need you to calm down. Where are you?"

As the two women talked, Damon narrowed his eyes, wondering when Nora and Bonnie had exchanged numbers and started calling each other casually. Although this was a more urgent call but, didn't Nora nearly kill Caroline at one point?

Shit, what all had he missed in three months?

* * *

 _(After the scene where Stefan calls)_

The Camaro pulled into the lot of the gas station; with it's exhaust rumbling noisily, vibrating the frame and windows. Bonnie stared out of the window, trying to ignore the obvious tension between her and Damon. Whatever he had done, he was refusing to tell her for excuse that he just "couldn't".

It was annoying as hell; she just wanted to understand why he was being so secretive. Maybe the old him kept things from her, but the Damon she'd gotten to know over the last year was not that Damon. Bonnie was tired of him reverting back to his old self. But, when she thought about how much this upset her, she wondered why? Hadn't she at one point hated Damon?

It was true, they had both changed. Bonnie's outlook on vampires had loosened, and Damon's nasty habits were just things he couldn't take back.

With Elena gone, Damon was different but it wasn't a negative type of change. In fact, Bonnie preferred Elena-less Damon, much like 1994 Damon. He was head strong, but he didn't screw things over every two seconds for the problematic Gilbert.

Bonnie would never admit it out loud, however. She felt it made her a bad friend. Then again, how can you be a bad friend to one that isn't even there?

Damon had turned the car off as well as put it in park, but left the keys in the ignition when he got out and went to pay for gas inside. Bonnie's green eyes flickered to the store front, watching the vampire through the large window. He was in perfect view; a step back and he have been blocked by a poster advertising Pall Malls.

After paying, he walked out with a plastic bag and his eyes met Bonnie's through the closed window. Bonnie shook her head and looked away, but glanced him walking in front of the car and opening the drivers side door.

"Here." was all Damon said as he tossed the bag into his lap and then shoved his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans.

Bonnie watched him close the door and tend to putting gas in the car.

She looked down at the bag and brushed the handles away, looking at it's contents.

Hot cheetos and sweet tea.

She smiled a little and just fiddled with the corner of the bag for a few moments.

Bonnie heard the fuel door close and turned her head to see Damon putting the gas nozzle back. He got back in the car, close the door and turned the keys, the car revved back to life.

"Thank you." she said as he put his seat belt on, grabbed the stick shift and put the car in drive.

"Yeah, of course." Damon replied and tapped on the gas pedal, driving them out of the lot.

Bonnie nodded before pulling the bag of cheetos out and opening them in one pinched motion.

They continued down the road, Damon turned the headlights and tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.

Bonnie shoved a few of the red hot cheetos into her mouth and crunched on them, licking the powder off her lips. She kept her vision forward, staring at the road before them as they turned onto the freeway.

After a few more minutes and half the bag eaten, she sighed and looked over at him.

"I hate this." she said blatantly, rolling the bag of food up and tossing it onto the dashboard.

"You hate what?" Damon asked, although he knew very clearly what was egging on his best friend.

He wanted to tell Bonnie, but at the same time he was afraid she would hate him if she knew what he had done. It was more than difficult keeping secrets from Bonnie. But, was telling her the truth really better than lying, when the outcome might be losing her?

Bonnie let the closed bottle of tea roll off her lap and onto the floor between her feet, before brushing her powdered finger tips on her black leggings.

"Us hardly talking, you keeping things from me." she pointed out the obvious, "You used to call me, or come to me to talk about even the most irrelevant things; but now I hardly hear from you."

Damon pursed his lips as he took one hand off the wheel and rested it against the door.

"You did ignore me for several days, or have you forgotten?" he asked her, but didn't look at her.

"Okay, yes... I admit, after you almost killed me I ignored you, but I was dealing with Rayna and you know that." Bonnie reminded him.

He exhaled, "I know."

She looked at him dead on, wishing he'd look at her, and tell her whatever was weighing on him, whatever was making Stefan so upset.

"If you don't stop being so damn vague, I'm going to explode." Bonnie said with a huff.

"What do you want me to do?" Damon asked a little more aggressively, getting frustrated.

She rolled her eyes, giving him a look that mirrored his.

"Say what's on your mind, verbatim." Bonnie said slowly, "Because I've been second guessing everything, and I'm sick of it."

Damon licked at his lips and finally turned his head, his blue eyes meeting her face finally, but only for a second.

"I can't tell you, I'm afraid it'll ruin this." he admitted and she sighed and shook her head.

"Well, stop it. Nothing is going to ruin us. " Bonnie assured him, "Please, just tell me."

Damon sighed and leaned his head back for a second and spend up in order to pass someone who was driving slower than hell.

"What did you do, Damon?" she asked for probably the fifth time.

He bit at his lip hard, knowing he might regret what he was about to say next.

"I killed Elena."

Bonnie blinked and her heart dropped to her stomach.

"What?" she asked, confused, and hoping he was mistaken.

"Tyler took me to see her, and in a fresh from hell rage accidentally burned her comatose body." Damon said quickly, knowing the sooner he got it out the sooner everything could go to shit and he could be blamed.

He wanted to be blamed, it was his fault after all. He was the one who fucked up.

Bonnie however, didn't react how he expected. Instead she exhaled, and put a hand on her forehead like she was relieved.

"Damon you didn't kill her." she told him, looking back over at him with sad but thankful eyes.

"What?" Damon asked, looking over at her away from the road.

"Tyler and I thought it would be a good idea to have a decoy coffin, the coffin he brought you too wouldn't have been the real one." Bonnie explained, and every ounce of guilt Damon had been carrying flowed out of his body, and was replaced by shock.

Damon sped the car up, and switched lanes quickly, getting to the outside lane and pulling off the side of the highway. The car stopped with a jolt, and he put it into neutral.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, and he raked his fingers through his hair.

I didn't kill her?" he asked, looking over at Bonnie.

She shook her head, "No. Elena's coffin is in New York. You must have just been hallucinating."

Damon sighed, and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

"Oh, thank god." he scrubbed a hand over his face.

Bonnie furrowed her brow, "Even if you had really killed her...Damon I wouldn't hate you."

He opened his eyes and just stared at the roof of the Camaro, which was still on and rumbling, the seats vibrating.

"Really? You wouldn't hate me if I killed your best friend?" Damon asked quietly, taking his seat belt off and brushing it back over to the side.

"You're my best friend. I've forgiven people I don't even care about for far less. I would be upset, but I wouldn't hate you." Bonnie assured him yet again, and turned in her seat a bit more.

Damon exhaled slowly and tilted his head back up, looking over at her.

"I don't deserve you." he said slowly, with a serious look on his face.

"No, you don't." Bonnie nodded, "But, you're stuck with me." she smiled a small smirk.

Damon chuckled, his eyes brightening a bit and he reached a hand over, brushing her hair behind her ear.

"That's alright with me." he whispered and just as he was about to pull his hand away, fingers brushing against her cheek, Bonnie reached up and held his hand there, keeping it from moving.

"Don't you dare, keep anything from me ever again. You got it?" Bonnie asked, her fingers wrapped over the side of his hand, finger tips against his palm.

Damon nodded in a mock stern motion, "Got it." he narrowed his eyes, and she smiled, a small giggle coming from her lips.

"What if it's about a Christmas present?" he asked, jokingly and she glared at him.

"I'm kidding!" he insisted and in one swift motion, unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her into his lap.

Bonnie gasped, a little startled and looked forward at him.

"Hey! I'm serious, I'll kick your ass." she threatened him and Damon's hands moved onto her waist.

"I'd like to see you try." he said cockily back at her with that smirk on his face she'd been desperately missing the last 3 months or so.

With him in that stupid rock, and then both of them ignoring each other, she hadn't realized how much they'd missed each other, how much time had passed since they were close, talked, laughed.

"You know I could kill you in two seconds flat, light you on fire, or just make your head fly off." Bonnie reminded him, and his grip on her waist grew tighter.

"Ohh, talk dirty to me, Bon-Bon. I love it." Damon teased her, flicking his tongue and she laughed.

"Shut up!" she hit him in the shoulder and he just pulled her body closer against his.

Damon grinned crookedly once more and felt her body heat melting into his. Bonnie was warm, soft, electric, and strong. She was so many things, that no word could really encompass them all.

The vibration from the growling exhaust from causing them to vibrate against each other just a bit, and this was making Bonnie's thighs warmer.

She felt a little awkward, straddling Damon's lap, with his hands on her waist. But it didn't feel wrong. The only reason it felt awkward was because the last 5 years they'd known each other, the idea of them being together had never come up. Bonnie and Damon, was something that wasn't talked about, and no one cared.

It would be a flat out lie if Damon or Bonnie said they never thought about the other in a romantic, or sexual way. However, those things had never been brought out in the open.

Everyone was just surprised that they were even friends.

"Thank you for telling me." Bonnie said quietly, enjoying this tender warm moment between them.

"Thank you for coming up with the second coffin idea." Damon chuckled, and his skin tingled when Bonnie moved her arms upwards and rested them on his shoulders. She placed her hands along the sides of his head, running her fingers in his hair behind his ears.

"Of course." she replied, looking into his face lovingly, like he was a kitten, with his large glimmering blue irises.

After a second she licked at her lips and spoke again.

"I miss you, while you were dead." Bonnie admitted, although she was sure he knew this without words.

Damon ran his hands along her waist and over her hips.

"Well, you've been dead more than enough times, I thought we'd trade places for a change." he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

Bonnie smiled, "Are you saying you missed me when I was dead?"

"How couldn't I?" Damon answered with a question, and look into her emerald eyes.

"I don't know, you're kind of an ass." she teased him.

Damon shook his head and leaned in closer, pretending to compel her.

"You don't think I'm an ass, you also want to get me some of those hot cheetos."

Bonnie rolled her eyes, "Nope, you're an ass and they're mine."

"Nope." Damon said popping the p.

"Yup." she did the same thing.

"Nope."

"Yup."

"Nope."

"Yup."

Damon snorted, "Fine you win!"

Bonnie laughed and he grinned, moving his hands upwards and putting them on her face and caressing her cheek.

Her face went a little more serious, and she looked to the side, seeing his fingers on her face from her peripheral vision.

"Damon." she said slowly, recognizing the look on his face.

"Mhm?" he hummed, and pulled her even closed to him.

Bonnie had a strong feeling about what was about to happen, but she didn't move, she didn't pull away and she didn't even speak.

As cars passed by them to the left, and the orange hue from the light posts illumined them, Damon leaned inwards and pressed his lips against hers.

Bonnie's eyes closed, and she was still for a moment, but when he didn't back away, she kissed him back softly.

This kiss quickly grew more intense, and Damon kissed her deeper, tugged on her hips, to pull her even tighter against him. To the point that there was no room between them.

Bonnie's hands tangled in the back of his hair, and he growled low in his chest. He slid his hands underneath her shirt, touching the warm soft skin of her stomach and sides.

Bonnie's head was swimming, and she broke the kiss to breath, but Damon didn't stop. He ran his tongue along her parted lips and moved his hands downwards, tucking his finger tips into the waist band of her pants.

"Damon." she said, remembering that they were supposed to be getting to the hospital. Caroline needed her.

However, her head went dizzy again as Damon moved his face down to her neck and kissed along her skin.

"Damon, we need to get to the hospital." Bonnie breathed shakily.

Damon mumbled incoherently and she shivered when she felt his tongue run along her neck, all the up to her jawline and back down. She felt him grind his hips upwards against her. Between her legs a wetness was pooling and she inhaled.

"Fuck." she said with a jagged exhale.

But with all the willpower she had she pushed his head back up to look at her.

"We have to go to the hospital." Bonnie reminded him.

Damon took a breath and blinked, getting his own thoughts together, but continued to run his fingers underneath her pants until one of his hands was resting against the top of her pantie line.

"Alright." he said roughly, "But, later."

He looked square in her face, and Bonnie knew exactly what he meant.

Damon was going to have her eventually, no matter what was going on around them. It wasn't an request, it was a fact.

Bonnie licked at her lips, "Of course."


	10. 7x15 tid bit

So, I know 7x15 isn't out for anywhere but Canada, and airs on Friday for everyone. But I downloaded and watched it ahead of time. I'm still going to watch it live though because it was fucking amazing!

Anywho, the scene with Bonnie and Damon made me cry for a solid 4 hours. And then I wrote this little thing. Starts after the end when Bonnie leaves Damon in the Penthouse in New York.

 **7x15**

Bonnie sat in her dorm room, after the long, and painful drive home from New York. The sun was nearly risen, but she hadn't slept and she had no intention of doing so.

Her cheeks were still stained with tears, some new, some old. She was hurt, so hurt that the word hurt was all she could muster up in her memories. She had wanted Damon to change his mind right then and there.

Bonnie could see it, in his eyes, that he wasn't going to. He looked like he didn't care at all. This angered her, made her furious. So, she had not allowed for him to say goodbye.

Sitting on the window sill was a white envelope, sealed with a red seal. She didn't want to open it, and she wouldn't. Not for another three years.

Bonnie pulled her knee's up to her chest, and rested her chin there.

She wanted Damon to change his mind, decide to stay, just for her.  
So, at 6 in the morning, on the last day of her old life, and first day of what would be her new life, she waited.

Bonnie waited, for hours, as the sun rose, burned her eyes, and the shakiness in her hands remained constant. She waited in her dorm, for Damon to come.

But, he never did.


	11. Melancholy Pen to Paper

Letter Bonnie writes Elena after damon coffins himself in 7x15

* * *

 ** _  
Dear Elena,_**

 _If you can asked me during the beginning of Junior year of highschool, where I thought I'd be after Graduation… I'm not sure what I would have said. The days when we were just girls with normal problems, (unfortunate, but normal none the less) seem as though they never even existed. Sometimes, I want to write about how much I hate my life, this life, the one I didn't ask for, nor chose. The truth is, I don't hate it. I feel almost like I am obligated to hate it, though. I'm all alone now, well, with the exception of Enzo… However, before everyone left I always felt like people expected me to hate everything, to be pessimistic, and discard them once I had the chance._

 _Since the beginning, the general beliefs of me have been: Bonnie hates vampires, she is the sacrificial lamb, she is the newbie witch who still doesn't have a handle on it, she is the selfless one, she hates Damon._

 _Honestly, these things are wrong. You don't know me at all. I don't hate vampires, I used to but that's not me, not anymore. I am not a sacrificial lamb, and I am not selfless. I am selfish, most of the time, or at least I want to be selfish. You've never given me a choice, between being selfish and being selfless, because I was always expected by someone, to clean up after everyone._

 _I'm not a teenage girl anymore, and I'm not a newbie witch with no control. I'm powerful, I can do things I never dreamt of in the snap of my fingers._

 _But, most of all…I don't hate Damon._

 _He came into my life, and I hated him, but then, one day, I looked over at him while he was looking away, and… I didn't. I didn't hate him anymore. I can't explain why, or how it happened. It was the feeling of the sun rising, and though the sun was the same sun that has risen since the beginning of time, it felt warmer. I was looking at Damon, and though he was the same man, that there had always been and always will be, I felt warmer._

 _I never thought, I'd care about 'the guy fro the grille' in the blue camaro, with his sunglasses, so much; but, I care about him. Elena, I love him; and he's gone, and I hate him._

 _It doesn't make any sense, but I hate him, so much that I don't hate him at all, I hate everything else. I hate the wind, I hate the rain, I hate the feeling of the sun, I hate the moon, and I hate, that Damon might never know how much I love him, because you're selfish, and you'll never show him this letter, and any letter I leave behind for him, you'll just hide._

 _You were friend, and I know you love him too; so please know, I'm not trying to be cold when I say this… I love him more than you, and more than you ever will._

 _Which is why I am not going to write to you anymore after this. In the future, as you live your life with him, I don't want you to know how the rest of my life went; because, that's what being selfless is._

 ** _Bonnie_**


	12. I left because I love you

_Drabble taking place sometimes after 7x18 when Bonnie reads the letter._

* * *

Bonnie didn't want to open the stupid letter, that this stupid man child had written her three years before. However, he was towering above her, doe eyed, apologetic, and aching for her to open it. She didn't understand why it mattered so much, why a letter that was probably all about Elena, should matter to her.

"Please, open it." Damon said to her, and her heart thumped in her chest.

Bonnie was almost angry with herself for feeling so warm, and comfortable around Damon. She was supposed to be mad at him, fuck, why couldn't she just keep being mad at him?

She grumbled and ripped the seal off the letter, yanking the stupid piece of stupid folded paper out of the envelope and unfolding it quickly. Her eyes locked on the paper, with an outright intention to gloss over it, give Damon a death glare, toss it at his stupid face and walk away. She knew what it was going to say, she knew she would still be mad at him, and she knew she didn't fucking care about any of this.

She glossed over the first few sentences, not really reading, but then her eyes caught some words and she had to backtrack.

 _…I want you to live, Bon. This is why I'm leaving, I want you to be able to live, happily, and I feel as though as long as I am around you will always be two steps behind in life. I want to protect you, by letting you live the life you should be living, the life you deserve, the life you thought you would have before I met you when you were seventeen, before I ruined everything. Bonnie Bennett, I want you to be happy, and I know you will hate me, but…you having the option to move on from me, and live is all I need._

Bonnie's hard expression had fallen, her eyes were a little wet, and her heart was beating at a slow hard pace in her chest. Her emerald eyes moved up to Damon's face.

"You dropped something." Damon said quietly, and her eyes moved to the floor, where she hadnt noticed something fell out of the envelope.

Bonnie grabbed what was on the floor, and when she looked at it, she saw it was a bundle of plane tickets from all the places they went to over the summer after Elena was gone, with a rubberband around them. And behind all the tickets was a black credit card, with her name on it.

Damon wasn't speaking, and she wasn't sure she understood any of this, so she looked back at the letter. But when she tried to read it, she felt like she couldn't breath.

"Let me?" he spoke up, stepping closer to her. She nodded and was about to hand him the letter, however, Damon didn't need it.

"Remember all the places we visited this summer? The hotels we stayed at, and all the hours you supervised Ric and I. You left us alone sometimes, wandering to the lakes, the museum's, the beaches. You thought I didn't care, or notice whether you were around, but I always notice you. You were happy, while we were on our little trek around Europe. I want you to remember your trips, I want you to go on more, I want you to go everywhere, see everything. I want your life to be as full as possible. I want you to be untroubled, content. I want to wake up one day and know that you felt the sun as deeply as you could." Damon spoke the letter from memory, stepping closer to her.

"Because I might not be the most selfless man in the world, but, when I think about you, I think of your smile, and I hope you never lose it. I hope you don't cry for me, I don't deserve it. If you never read this, maybe that will be a good thing, maybe it will mean you are happy. Whatever you do, Bonnie, never think I left because I don't care about you." he said, and watched Bonnie's hands grow shaky in her silence.

"That is the opposite of everything true. I left because I love you."

Bonnie inhaled, and the effects in her hands dropped to the floor.


	13. You're Going to Be Okay

**7x20**

How is it that you can be both angry with someone, and want to wrap your arms around them, hold them tightly? It was all going to be over soon if they didn't figure out how to save Bonnie, she knew it, they all knew it. But the only one fighting against it, fighting for real, was Damon.

"I'm not going to get you die." he had told her, at least four times that day.

Now it was just the two of them in Damon's room, Enzo had left when Damon and him got into an argument. There was no doubt he'd be back soon, but did anyone really care? Even Bonnie seemed as though she was tiring of Enzo's empty promises, and complaints.

"I know you're still upset with me, but…" Damon started, sitting down on the bed beside Bonnie.

"I'm too tired to be upset anymore, Damon." Bonnie said honestly. She was saddened, and wanted to tell him to leave but at the same time she didn't want him to leave, not ever again.

"I was going to say…" he chuckled, "But, I will do everything to keep you alive."

Her lips turned up at the corners a tad, "Why? Why are you doing any of this?"

"Would you rather I sit, and watch you die?" Damon asked furrowing her brow, "Do you want me to watch you die?"

Bonnie sighed, "What if I do want you to be the one who is with me when I die? Is that such a bad thing?"

They were just answering with questions, nothing was getting answered, yet, everything was at the same time.

"Yes." he told her, "You dying is not an option, it would be a tragedy, and I will not, let you die, Bonnie Bennett."

Bonnie's eyes were a little teary when she inhaled again, trying to find any words.

"I won't. And, I don't believe you when you say you're okay with dying, because that isn't you. I know you, you're strong, you want to live." Damon said staring into her face.

"I do, I do want to live." she told him honestly, water alone her lash line.

"But if I do, I'm scared you'll just leave again." Bonnie's voice was shaky, and Damon's heart ached in his chest.

"I will never leave you again." he told her, and she stared back at him with her emerald eyes wide and wet.

Bonnie with all the strength she had, leaned up and wrapped her arms around his neck. What Damon thought was going to be a hug, turned into something different. Her lips were suddenly pressed to his, and their eyes both closed.

The warmth melting between their lips was captivating, and one of his arms went around her, pressing against the small of her back to bring her tighter against him. Their kiss grew deeper, but slow, intense. Every movement was in slow motion, and each time one of them tried to break the kiss, their lips clung to one another, urging them to stay. Bonnie's shaky fingers tangled in the back of his hair, and her heart was beating heard in her chest.

When the kiss finally broke, Damon kept his forehead leaning against hers, eyes closed, he didn't want to open them, he wanted to stay in this moment for as long as possible.

"You will get through this." he whispered, and felt her finger glide to his face, and press against his cheek.


	14. I can't let you leave me

**7x19**

Damon stood several feet away from the couch Bonnie was sitting on. He could see the woman was pretending to be strong, but, she was pale and her bones were more prominent than ever.

"I don't need you here." she said in a whisper, holding the mug of hot tea in her hands.

Both Enzo and Damon looked at each other, both unsure of who this was directed at.

"Damon, I don't need you here." Bonnie said again, and Enzo's actually turned up in a smirk. As if he took pleasure from her anger with Damon.

Damon's heart was low, his eyes were dull and he wished for nothing but Enzo to disappear so he could speak to Bonnie in private.

Bonnie coughed and quickly set the tea on the coffee table so she didn't spill it.

"I want to talk to her alone." he said, his eyes glued to her.

"I don't think-" Enzo started but Damon repeated himself quickly.

Enzo gave him a grave look, then turned and walked out of the front door of the cabin that was several feet away. The door slammed behind him, and Bonnie's eyes flickered over to meet Damon's face.

"What do you want from me?" Bonnie questioned, her chest aching.

"You're dying." he said slowly, "I might never get to talk to you again, see you again."

"Does it matter?" she asked, and he looked at her like he couldn't believe she would ask him that.

"I don't want you here whether or not I am dying." Bonnie continued in a huff.

Damon stepped over to her, his boots thudding on the wood floor.

"Well unless the _all powerful Enzo_ can pull a cure all out of his ass, you are dying Bonnie Bennett, and I will not stand idly by-" he said, his jaw locked but she interrupted him.

"You're wasting your breath!" Bonnie practically yelled at him, taking every ounce of strength she had.

Damon's eyes were intense, and he dropped down to her eye level.

"I don't care. If these are the last moments I get with you, if you're going to die soon, I will waste my breath up until the last second you are alive." he told her roughly, and her eyes glimmered.

"So, you listen to me, or don't listen to me, but I'm not going to hurt you, not again." Damon said, lifting a hand to touch her face.

Bonnie was about to say something when Enzo came walking back in the door.

"I told you t-" Damon started, about to push Enzo back ouside, but the man started to speak.

"Alex said she might have found a way to help Bonnie, but we need Rayna." Enzo said quickly.

"We have no idea where she is." Bonnie said slowly, leaning back against the couch, as if she'd given up, or didn't care.

Enzo scrubbed a hand over his face, "There's no way we could find her in time."

Damon stood back up and instantly headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Bonnie asked, sitting back up, eyes pouring into the back of his head.

Damon turned around and looked at her and Enzo.

"If it were up to Enzo, he'd make excuses until you die, luckily. I'm not him." he started mission set in his eyes, "I can't let you leave me. I won't."

And he disappeared through the door.


	15. Not Honest

**7x20**

Bonnie ran her fingers along the binding of the book in her lap. The flickering hearth fire was warm against her skin as she sat on the floor. She knew that she didn't have much time left, and while Rayna's blood would keep the Armory from tracking her, it only made her sicker. This thought that she might be dead soon, made it easy for her to think about her life, the last few years.

Two years before, Enzo's was gone for weeks at a time, and she was growing haunted by her loneliness. When he was around, she should tell he was falling for her, yet her emotions had remained stagnant. She often wondered if kissing him would ease her pain somehow.

Enzo was not understanding of her emotions, though he put on a good face. This was the reason Bonnie had told herself she would not get involved with him until her wounds were healed. The problem was, they would never be healed, not without him. For the last three years she had lived without Damon, and she was strong, but this did not mean she enjoyed it. He was gone, and she had no other choice.

However, this wasn't the truth any longer. Damon was back, and fighting to keep her alive.

Bonnie opened the book, looking at the page where the once familiar sealed letter had been hidden for years. The book was now heavy, yet felt as though it was missing it's heart. She had wanted to read what was inside the letter for so long, and now she might never know. For the last few days she had been projecting her hurt as hate towards Damon. Though she did not hate him, not at all. Spent her time being more loving towards Enzo than she'd been in the last year.

Enzo crept up behind Bonnie, and she could feel his eyes on the book in her hands before he even spoke.

"Are you still reading that, love?" he asked, "Have you not read that enough times?"

Her heart sunk in her chest as she closed the book.

Why had she expected him to say something supportive? She should have known better by now.

"I didn't hear you come in." Bonnie told him, avoiding the subject.

Enzo kept down, placing his hands on her shoulders, face against her hair. She tried to enjoy this, as she knew he loved her. Bonnie claimed to love him, but more and more questions came into play in her head as the hours went on since Damon's return.

"Are you alright, my love?" he questioned, and she closed her eyes.

Love.

Bonnie was tired of this word, this nickname, this term of endearment. It was weighing on her.

"Alright as I can be." she responded and felt his lips against her cheek.

Enzo did not understand Damon's influence on her, in fact he seemed jealous of the mere mention of him. While his stance around Damon was a poker face of being unfazed, Bonnie had spent three years with the man. This game he was playing around Damo was nothing but a new card she was already exhausted by.

Enzo was broken, just like her, and perhaps that was the attraction in the beginning. But the more this went on, the more she realized he was not the man he pretended to be.

"Thank you for coming home." Bonnie said after a second, trying to find the light in the situation.

After all, she had asked him to come home.

He was her home, this was her home… Wasn't it?

Bonnie did not want to unravel this life she had made for herself. Didn't she deserve to be happy?

She wasn't happy though, that was the thing. Enzo was jealous, he was possessive, he had taught her to be complacent in his wake.

"Where is Damon?" Bonnie questioned, and regretted it instantly.

"Does it matter?" Enzo said slowly, and she didn't reply.

Enzo had always known she cared for Damon, yet he had been the one to ask why she had not burnt his letter. As if it was an easy thing to do.

The more she stared into the fire, the more she started to wonder if she needed to rethink her life, rethink her relationship. Settling was a comfortable thought when Damon was dead to her, but, now he was practically raised from the dead and everything in her head was spinning.

Rayna came stumbling in from the front door, dropping the wood in her arms. She gasped, shaking, dropping to the floor and searching through the papers on the floor.

"What's going on?" Bonnie asked, and the woman rushed to throw papers into the fireplace.

"They're killing them." Rayna said wide eyed, excited, and Bonne knew well that there was no way in hell the small group could be killing handfuls of vampires within minutes.

Twenty minutes later, Bonnie had spent the entire time pacing the floor, waiting for Damon to get back so she could get some answers. He had went behind her back to make a deal with Alex. After all this time she'd spent being conflicted over him, caring about him, wanting to forgive him. He had to do something that made her skin burn, her heart ache. It hurt her, for him to make deals without her, deals she didn't want to be a part of.

The second she heard the camaro's tires on the gravel, she grabbed her coat and pulled it on, Enzo following her out of the house.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Bonnie asked angrily as she watched Damon shut the car door, she stomped down the walkway.

"What did you think I was doing to do, just let you die?" he asked stopping in front of her, his Henley shirt unbuttoned, leather jacket, smudges of blood he'd attempted to clean off his face.

"I would rather die, than be forced to open that vault." she exclaimed.

"Excuse me, what happened to the new Bonnie, the one that's not to eager to just sacrifice herself? I don't understand." Damon said looking genuinely confused.

Bonnie wasn't sure what to say, three years was a long time for her. Things had changed, but had she not realized how drastically she had changed? When Damon left, she was the woman who wanted to live, would do anything to live, and save those she loved. Who was she now?

"Bonnie." he started, "I have a shaman ready to make you the proud new owner of Rayna's last life all you have to do is just open the stupid vault for Alex, and you're well, you're done!"

Should could see the confusion, the hurt, the desperation in Damon's eyes, hear it in his voice. He could not understand why she would not want to live, and for the first time, Bonnie was starting to ask herself the same questions.

"Alex can't be trusted." she said slowly, starting to wonder if she was just making excuses.

"Bonnie, stop being so dramatic, she just wants her sister back." he motioned his hand outwards, as Enzo stood there completely silent, as though he had nothing to say.

"Damon, the vault turns people into monsters, how can I in good conscious open it?" she asked, shaking her head.

Damon's eyes flickered over to Enzo, "You're being quiet on this one, huh? You saw what happened to Mary and Nora on their last days, you should be on my side."

"Bonnie can make her own decisions." Enzo replied, looking straight at the Damon as his phone started ringing in his pocket.

Bonnie's eyes flickered over to him, and for a moment, a thought crossed her mind. Was Enzo saying this because he didn't want her to open the fault, because if she lived, she might leave him? Or was he worried she would be upset with him if he was honest? Perhaps it was both, but either way his no opinion stance on everything was giving her a headache.

"Yeah, and when she's dead, you'll be making them for her!" Damon said his eyes wide with annoyance, "Like what dress she's going to be buried in!."

Bonnie inhaled, listening as Damon stuttered, wanting to say more.

"Jeez." he huffed grabbing his phone and answering it quickly.

She was growing tired of this, the arguing, the angst. Bonnie's internal battles were repetitive and she was sick of it.

"We hit a snag." Damon told Alex, his blue eyes focused on Bonnie.

She realized something, Damon did not want to force her to open the vault. If he did, he would have been dragging her there by now. He wanted her to want to live, he wanted her to make this choice… The right one, as she was realizing.

Bonnie's eyes went to Enzo who stood, like insignificant statue with no plans, no real care for whether or not she lived or died as long as he got to have the golden star on his morality chart for being with her.

Bonnie thought she could be happy with her life as it was, be alright with dying, but she was honest.

As she tore her emerald eyes away from him and looked back at the man who had actually been working to save her, she had decided something.

Bonnie was no longer going to allow her future to be influenced by the frustrations of an insecure man.

"I'll do it."


End file.
